When spoken, the word “lust” sounds like a lover who is giving in to its ache.
As your tongue delicately, lazily, touches the roof of your mouth to form the sound of the L, the lover has slipped off his restraints and let the hairs on his skin rise to her touch.
The U is the shaky breath he exhales after feeling her electricity, the way her skin feels warm and cool all at once.
He lets his lips come close to hers, a heat between them like glowing coals. Your tongue comes to rest, for the S, behind your teeth, as their lips graze each other’s for the first time. Breaths are held for that instant, every sense unimaginably heightened.
Your tongue rises again for the T, to the top of your mouth, as the lovers realize what they’ve started, finally exhaling. There’s only more to be quenched now.
1:58 pm 15 notes
April 23 2014
12:14 pm 4 notes
April 23 2014
11:53 am 2 notes
April 23 2014
homemade birthday gifts for boys. (wish my writing wasn’t as crooked)
12:03 am 13 notes
April 9 2014
in highschool i ridiculed other brown girls because they used to wear kurta tops and tights with lace on them, because they didn’t hide the fact that they spoke hindi and urdu. i used to want to set myself apart from my own people because i wanted to be accepted by those who considered me an other, aka the cool people, which consisted of white people and any POC who had self-hating tendencies that embraced whitewashing. in elementary i got made fun of for bringing roti for lunch, for speaking a different language when my mom called, for not being allowed to go to friends’ houses after school and it made me so mad. i grew to hide those things, separate them from myself. it’s so sad, when you think about it, how desperately brown youth worked on creating an image that would somehow make white people forget the colour of our skin, and honestly it never happened. i look back at those same girls i would ridicule and i wish i had enough courage to be myself, to be proud of the knowledge i had of my mother tongue. it was only in senior year of highschool that i realized what i was up against, when i heard someone say that were having a house party but not to “invite any of the brown people”. solidarity was the only thing i should have been feeling towards my fellow brown people, even the boys i’d call fobs and sneer at if they’d have a crush on me. what did i expect my worth to be? that of a white boy’s attention? because that only ever reached far enough for me to be an exotic specimen that would be beautiful until they spotted the hair on my arms and until i kept my mouth shut about “you’re pretty for an indian” not being a compliment.
i’m ashamed of that part of my life, where i was so self-hating that i’d call others name in an attempt to set myself apart, as if that would take those things away from me and make me white. just because i listened to indie music and wore clothes from thrift shops or tell people i suck at math “unlike most brown people” didn’t make me less like my own folk. though this was years ago, i am still sorry and apologize, and i hope those younger than me will grow up in an environment that they don’t need to self hate in order to make friends.
11:33 pm 82 notes
April 8 2014
1. Push yourself to get up before the rest of the world — start with 7 a.m., then 6 a.m., then 5:30 a.m. Go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sunrise.
2. Push yourself to fall asleep earlier — start with 11 p.m., then 10 p.m., then 9 p.m. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. Erase processed food from your diet. Start with no candy, chips, cookies, then erase pasta, rice, cereal and then bread. Use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
4. Get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. Fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. Sit and eat while doing absolutely nothing else.
5. Stretch. Start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. Roll your head, stretch your fingers, stretch everything.
6. Buy a 1L water bottle. Start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
7. Buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. Write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. No detail is too small.
8. Strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear drawer into the washing machine. Put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash everything. Then make your bed in full.
9. Organize your room. Fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor and light a beautiful candle.
10. Have a luxurious shower with your favorite music playing. Wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. Lather your whole body in moisturizer, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs and the back of your neck.
11. Push yourself to go for a walk. Take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. Smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. Bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. Realize how much you can learn from your dog.
12. Message old friends with personal jokes. Reminisce. Suggest a movie or sushi date soon, even if you don’t usually follow through, push yourself to follow through.
14. Think long and hard about what interests you. Crime? Sex? Chinese folklore? Long-forgotten romance etiquette? Find a book about it and read it. There is a book about literally everything.
15. Become the person you would ideally fall in love with. Let cars merge into your lane when driving. Pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. Stick your tongue out at babies. Compliment people on their cute clothes. Challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for an entire day, then two, then a week. Walk with straight posture. Look people in the eye. Ask people about their story. Talk to acquaintances so you become friends.
16. Lie in the sunshine and daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t possible. Breathe in, breathe out. Open your eyes and take small steps to make it happen for you.”
12:11 pm 37,896 notes
April 8 2014
4:26 pm 4 notes
April 7 2014
4:25 pm 13 notes
April 7 2014